As I walked the dog on Sunday morning, hood pulled tight over my head as what closely resembled sleet dotted my glasses and dripped from my hair, I thought to myself, spring will come.
I told myself this over and over again as I imagined myself curled up on the couch, warmed by a blanket and the fireplace. In May. Spring will come, I thought. For a day, probably, and then summer will follow hot on its heels, and some who aren’t me will think fondly of the sleet and cold we endured. In May.
But despite the frigid weather, and the fact that I still haven’t retired my winter coat for the season, I know it’s technically spring. If not because my HBSPCA calendar says so, or because of the abundance of springy-type things available for purchase at every turn — flowers that are meant to be planted in the ground, chilled white wine that is most likely available all year long but that I only notice once the temps rise above freezing — then because my newsfeeds on all platforms turn to thoughts of love. Or weddings, more specifically. Not that one necessarily necessitates the other.
As we are aware, as I’ve mentioned many times, love and weddings don’t always go together. We all know plenty of examples of love existing where there is no wedding and weddings existing where there is no love. But between the two, the latter is generally where the party’s at.
This weekend alone I came across several stories from various publications, announcing new trends in weddings. There are always new trends in weddings, as there is with anything else. But every once in a while, a new “trend” makes you stop and wonder. Wonder how many people bought into this idea, made the lifestyle gurus of the world stop and take notice and say, “Hmmm. This must be a new trend. Everyone is doing it!”
Have you ever been to a wedding? Yes? Were you drinking? Probably. How about heels? Were you trying to find a way to stop the heels on your stilettos from sinking into the lawn/garden/golf course/forest floor, etc.? Most likely.
I’ve only ever worn flats to one wedding — a cute pair of lace-up Oxfords with gold-capped heels I paired with an uber-feminine, uber-ruffly dress. It was also probably the last wedding I attended and the only one I didn’t leave with aching toes and/or a twisted ankle and/or a story about falling into whatever. It took 40-odd years, but I finally found the secret to comfortably attending weddings.
But I feel like the folks who would buy into this new wedding “fad” don’t have the benefit of years of experience. So, they — the trendsetters — have made white, wedding-themed bouncy castles a thing. Yes, this is the new trend. Bouncy castles at weddings. For the guests. Because what could go wrong?
Should we talk about the barf factor? OK, let’s get that one out of the way first. And you should, too, if you plan on having a bouncy castle at your wedding where you’ll also be serving alcohol. Get all that barf out of there and make sure the barfers are shoved out of harm’s way, far away from any food, other guests, anything else that will make them barf. Disinfect. Deodorize. Then, maybe you can give it another go.
Until the bridesmaid in the super spiky stilettos deflates the whole thing after one bounce. Why wasn’t this factored into the decision to rent one of these things? And then what happens? Are the newlyweds on the hook for repairs? Can it be repaired?